Gratitude is the sign of noble souls ~ Aesop

Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving ~ Kahlil Gabran

Joy delights in joy ~ William Shakespeare

Monday, March 22, 2010

Cloudy with a chance of Growth

I'm thankful for the beautiful reminder I had today of a powerful experience I had years ago when I was on an island north of Vancouver as a camp leader. All of these kids were looking to me for guidance, but I had never felt so in a fog, so unsure of my faith, so alone. I couldn't feel God or see God and I was starting to think maybe he wasn't there at all. When we arrived on the island, there was a great mountain near by, rising out of the sea like a bear -- it was majestic to behold. But the next morning, a thick marine layer of clouds had settle down all around our tiny island, and there was not even a hint of a mountain there. It had completely disappeared from sight. But had it actually disappeared? Of course not. I suddenly felt like a baby trying to comprehend peek-a-boo -- it's there, oh no it's gone, he's there, oh no he's gone! But now that I am grown, I understand permanence. I know that just because someone is hidden behind their hands, it doesn't mean they aren't there. And just because the mountain is obscured by fog, it doesn't make it any less majestic. And I realized while I was up there, that I would see the mountain again, and that the clouds in my life would clear and I would get a glimpse of grace once more.
I listened to a sermon from All Saints today online and something the priest Gabri said helped me to remember this moment and how precious it was to me. He said to remember when you are in the thick soup of the cloud that throughout all of scripture "The cloud always, always represents God's presence, not his absence" and that "the cloud disorients us at first...but then it reorients us, and when the fog clears, everything changes."
It sucks sometimes that the greatest growth and understanding come out of dark foggy times...but it makes it that much sweeter when the sun shines again. And it always does. At least that's what little orphan Annie says:)

1 comment:

  1. I like the thought of the cloud not being the absence of faith... but faith itself. Makes those cloudy days much nicer :)


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