Gratitude is the sign of noble souls ~ Aesop


Wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving ~ Kahlil Gabran


Joy delights in joy ~ William Shakespeare


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Me Stew

Tonight, after a productive day of writing, I decided to treat my back to one of those Epsom salt baths people talk so much about. I have a gigantic tub that is sorely underused, so I got some lavender salts, lit some candles, turned on some music and got ready to relax. The only trouble is -- baths give me anxiety. I don't know why, but I've always been that way. Every year or so, I hear someone talking about how much they love a bath and I decide I should give it another shot. Maybe it's like eating broccoli and I'll grow into liking it some day. The problem is, when I finally work up to actually sitting all the way back in the hot water, I inevitably sit there and wonder if I'm accidentally slow roasting myself. How much is too much heat? Should I get some kind of meat thermometer? So I turn on the cold water and try to swirl it though until I finally decide I am not becoming a poached lobster. Next, I try to settle in and breath deeply -- only to realize that for some reason breathing seems harder. Maybe it's all the gallons of water weighing down on me. And my mind inevitably goes to Holy Crap, my bath is trying to smother me. So I sit up. I sit up and count my breaths like meditation books tell you, but by the time I get to ten, I start to wonder how freaking long I have to stay in -- a hundred breaths? A thousand? I'm going to have to sit here and count to a thousand?? Okay, calm down -- no more counting breaths -- I'll just listen to the music. The music playing on the laptop I've placed on top of the toilet. So of course now all I can think about is how if I weren't soaking wet, and the laptop weren't on the other side of the room, I could skip past the song I don't really like. And suddenly every song becomes a song I can't believe I actually downloaded. What was I thinking? So that's when I get mad at myself. Just relax! Millions of people throughout time and across the world see baths as a relaxing luxury. What in the heck is wrong with me? Am I the only human being on earth who gets seasick in the tub? Do I need to join bath-haters anonymous?

I know this doesn't sound very much like a joy journal entry, but it just gives some background into what I'm really thankful for tonight -- the invention of the shower. Without it, I probably wouldn't smell very good:)

5 comments:

  1. Me too! When someone tells me to relax they inevitably suggest a bath. Although I don't think about roasting or smothering, I can't sit still. I prefer a hot shower until the water runs out. --Lisa

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  2. Hooray! I'm not alone! I'm so glad:)

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  3. Hmmm... maybe mom dropped you in the tub at some point? That would explain a lot:)

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  4. Andy, good thing you didn't suggest I dropped her...my ego is already bruised from the "My Crew" blog - and your's ought to be too, come to think of it! Another thing...You might want to go easy on Mom since I know you've been giving lots of baths to my beautiful Grandkids lately, and we all know that accidents DO happen...wouldn't want you to feel responsible for another bath-hater in the world! ;-) By the way, were you suggesting the tub was full, or empty when the suggested drop occurred.
    Besides, I'm thinking it was a sibling prank-thing, where you or your mischievous sister did something like turning out the lights on her one night while she was soaking and tub-dreaming! ;-b
    KaraMc, this was a wonderful, funny post...nice job. I like the title because one of the reasons I'm not a joyful bath-fan is that it makes me think of a boiled potato; the skin looks fine on the outside but it's become all soft and mushy on the inside...so then I think I hope I don't fall when I get out of the tub - ever dropped a boiled potato on the floor? - what a mess that'd make! Yes, showers are much better. ;-D

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  5. You guys are a bunch of raving lunatics. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go take my bath...

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